South Asian vs. Western Weddings

Spill the Chai:
south asian vs. western weddings

We’re spilling the tea, brown girl style.

This week on Spill the Chai! we spill the tea on what we REALLY thought about Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas’ elaborate wedding. What did you think about over the top South Asian weddings? Watch the show and get in on the comments section! I’ll reply.

I know some people found it a beautiful display of Indian culture for a wedding that was on the world stage. And I agree with that. But tbh - like, totally honest - I also cringed a few times and how extra it was.

Chopra looked beautiful! And I’m not trying to mean girl her at all. I loved that she did her thing, and her thing was extra extra extra! Good for her. Especially since she married an ‘outsider’ it was nice to see him embrace the culture. The reason I cringed watching the royal-inspired over-the-top details is only because around the same time Chopra and Jonas wed, I was helping my sister plan her wedding, and also planning my own. So in contrast to what I want - which is the tiniest little elopement - her wedding embodied everything I didn’t want. It just isn’t my thing.

But that surprises people. Because I’m a brown girl.

And traditionally, brown girls have big elaborate weddings right?! There’s a stereotype that we all want the full shebang! A week of festivities, the horses, the saris, the etc etc etc… and even if WE don’t want it, our mothers threaten us so badly we say we want it out of fear of the alternative. This is true for most of us right? But I’m part of a new wave of said brown girls, that are buying into this.

There’s a lot of reasons I feel this way about throwing my own wedding: rebelling against the misogyny, the religious history, the archaic laws, or the industrial wedding complex…it’s a bit of all of these reasons for me. Ironically, I love attending other peoples weddings. They are the best parties! When else do you get to see a super cute groomsman dancing with old ladies, and then forming a circle for a toddle to do baby shark dance moves? Weddings are to me in my 30’s, what nightclubs were to me in my late teens!

So full disclosure about including cultural or religious elements into MY wedding: I was 100% sure I didn’t want to do anything traditional…my sister, who’s wedding recently took place in Spain, included both her culture and her husband’s into their wedding and the result was sooooooooo beautiful. Like literally, hands down the most beautiful wedding ever. Here’s a blog post she did about her actual wedding day. But scroll through the pics above to see her Indian cultural event the night before the wedding. It was a modern interpretation of the multi-day ceremonies: An all-in-one party with Mandvo, henna, the knuckles cracking, the pineapples, the first foot it, the music party, and the stomping on little plates - all in one night. And I loved it!

I’m not sure what I’ll do. What did you do? What will you do? Let me know your thoughts!

xo AJ

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